Chased, Pursued...Then Dropped

It happens; someone is attracted to you and they make it known. They let you know they want you, other people know they want you, you get the calls, tweets, texts - everything. Then you go out with them and it's fun. It's exciting. They text you in the morning to see what you have going on for the day, and they text you at night to ask how it all went. There's constant offers to go out and do things; if they don't hear from you, they're wondering why; if they can't see you, they try to plan for another day.... and then you get into them. You start reciprocating the feelings; you have just as much anticipation as they had at the beginning. That lasts for a little while, but then it stops.

I hear this story a lot, from friends, on TV, I see it on blogs in celebrity relationships, and even from my own experiences. From the stories, I've noticed 1 of 2 things are usually going on:

"I Loved Him, Now I Have to Get Tested" - Email from a Reader

I got an email from someone that I thought was perfect to share for today. I woke up this morning and hopped on Twitter - besides talking on the phone, this is how I wake up lol - and immediately see that today, February 7th, is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. This email is from the point of view of a girl who recently had a sexual relationship with someone that she is regretting....and in the worst way - she fears she MAY have contracted something from him, or she's at least at risk. I think she captured all the crazy emotions, confusion, and fear perfectly. Read it and comment!!! She's a reader, so she'll see the responses :)

So it’s Tuesday and I just got tested for HIV. And Herpes. And Chlamydia. Actually I just got a panel of test that tested me for a number of sexually transmitted diseases (10 to be exact). I decided to go on WEBMD (aka- the DEVIL) to look up  all the different diseases. And then the bullshit ensued. Herpes …..is that a razor bump or an outbreak? Hepatitis….. my throat has felt a little dry lately. Chlamydia….my cramps were intense this month….HIV…..I can’t I’m done….*shuts down computer*

The Not-So-Obvious Benefits of STD & HIV Testing

There are the obvious benefits, of course – knowing your own status and your potential partner’s status is going to prevent contracting and/or spreading STD’s… but sometimes that’s not our first thought when we’re “in the mood.” When you start feeling somebody (either attracted to them, or starting to catch feelings) you’re not thinking about whether or not they’re going to give you a disease! If that’s what we were thinking, it would kill the mood almost immediately.

For this reason, I think the information about contraction rates, symptoms, safe sex practices, and all that stuff doesn’t motivate people to be safe the way it should. You don’t look at a good looking person and automatically think about protecting yourself from them. Some website or TV commercial warning you about how easy it is to spread HIV doesn’t always stick with you the way it should.  

But what ARE we thinking? Possibly about emotional attachment, whether or not the person feels the same way, a possible relationship with this person, etc… Realizing how much getting tested for STD’s and HIV can affect THESE things could actually motivate people to be more careful about it. At least I would think so.

There are other benefits to getting tested, beyond just health reasons. Getting tested could be related to your emotional attachment to a person; it can also show you whether or not that person feels the same way about you, and it could have a huge impact on a relationship you are already in: