New Rules of Relationships in 2012? Cheating Isn’t the End of the World?

I’m talking to one of my oldest and best friends the other day & I loved the conversation we had. She was explaining to me how, now that we are older (25 and up), she believes women begin to stop feeling guilty about cheating. The old feelings of guilt should be replaced with a satisfied feeling of achievement…..and pleasure.

She goes on to say, she is not going to let to an opportunity pass her by ever again, just because she is “temporarily coupled up” - especially when, in this day and age, nothing lasts forever. When you ask a person how many relationships they’ve been in, they usually have a pretty long history – or at least SOME history of relationships that have now ended. It means, THEY END. Doesn’t matter how long they lasted, eventually it was over.

And not only does she feel she would not pass up a guy just because he (or herself) is in a relationship, but she also feels that a guy shouldn’t pass up on HER because he is in one. If both people feel an attraction and want to make something of it, what’s the real hold up?

These are all good points, but my question here was – How do you define an “opportunity”?

“An opportunity is like shopping; when I go shopping I only buy the things in the store that I feel like I can’t leave without. Like, if I was going to go home without it, I would keep thinking, ‘Ooohh I should have gotten that.’ You don’t want to feel regret in your personal life. When a relationship ends, you don’t want to think about someone else where it becomes a “What would have happened if…” Especially when you passed up on that person because you were with someone who you didn’t wind up with in the end --- THAT’S AN OPPORTUNITY, and you should never let anyone stop you, ever, from taking advantage of an opportunity.”

The guilt some people feel is just placed on them by other people who want you to feel bad about being happy. The world is run by people who look out for SELF – 100% of the time. And that’s all you are doing, looking out for yourself. No one else is.

My next question is – Could there ever be an opportunity that is the best option out there and makes you want to forget any other options? In other words, is there hope for a “good” relationship? Is  there a guy/girl that makes you not want anybody else?

The best hope is to find and keep a relationship that is honest, accepting, and understanding.

A good relationship would look like this (only regarding the point of sex outside of the relationship, there would be other aspects that are just as important):

• She should be able to tell her boyfriend, “Hey I want to sleep with this guy. And I’m going to do it.”
• And instead of the boyfriend being upset, he should think about how honest she was being, even though she could have done whatever she wanted either way
• She would then like to return to the relationship, and things would continue without a problem

And as far as not wanting another person – it’s very doubtful. People get bored. People grow up and change. That’s why there are other cities and cultures in the world; we like different things. If we didn’t, we would all be doing the same thing all the time.

“I’m not saying that people are going to want to sleep with someone outside of their relationship every two seconds, I’m saying that it happens. You work with people you are attracted to; you meet people. If you feel like that every two seconds, you should be single to begin with.”

Well said; I see valid points everywhere but does it truly fit society today? Does anyone else agree with this logic? No one is saying this is the right way to go – but I am curious to see what people think!!


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