Messing with someone you know you shouldn’t be involved with…Part 1 of 1,000,000

[Ok, I couldn’t possibly do 1,000,000 posts on this topic, but it is something that probably deserves 1,000,000 discussions]

Deep down inside, you know you shouldn’t be texting that person. You shouldn’t be on your way to their house tonight – or even entertaining their foolishness. But, you are. [We’ll tackle getting OUT of it in a future post, but for now let’s take it from where some people may be at with their situation]

Until you get to a place where you are able to stop, at least do yourself a few favors in the meantime:

- Realize when you are being disrespected

- Stop yourself when you notice you’re doing things that aren’t even “you”

- MOST IMPORTANTLY, be Honest with yourself

Don’t kid yourself. Yes, he just walked straight by you in the club without even a side glance. No, he didn’t get into a car accident this morning and suffer a bizarre head injury that caused him to forget you guys slept together the night before. Watched a movie, too. And ate breakfast off each other’s plate this morning and everything.

SEE STUFF FOR WHAT IT IS

Even if it’s not this blatant of an expression, try to peep situations for what they are. If someone is constantly disrespecting you and you’re actually noticing and giving the occurrence the recognition it deserves, you’ll eventually get tired of it. Don’t sugarcoat things, or lie to yourself to make something sound better than it really is. If you do sugarcoat it, these things will just keep happening to you forever because there’s no need to end something that’s not a problem, right?

*Rule of thumb: if you can’t tell a friend a story of what happened EXACTLY the way it happened, then that means what’s going on is at least an embarrassment on a subconscious level (whether you want to admit it or not)*

If you aren’t the type of guy who tricks off or lets a girl blatantly use you – then what are you doing? Why are you dropping her off at work and taking her to run her errands – with no gas money or any kind of payback? And you already know this girl is spending the Quality Time with somebody else. Or for girls, you’re way too smart to fall into the trap of getting double-talked…So why are you acting like his excuse for why he didn’t call back or show up, makes any kids of sense? You pride yourself on being a smart girl, someone who doesn’t go for bullshit but you’re taking it from this guy.

 

You’re acting out of character, and you’re embarrassed. You can’t keep putting yourself up on some level where you’re “above” certain things – but your actions are the exact opposite. This reminds me of the lyric from Drake – “she insists she got more class…We know.” It’s a perfect line to sum this up. You can’t convince someone you’re not “that girl” [or guy] when they met you and your actions were screaming something else. They met you as “that girl,” it’s been a few months and you’re still doing the same thing, but hollering something else. Check yourself.

Ah, the most important thing anyone will ever tell you to do – BE REAL WITH YOURSELF. My aunt always says, “Self deception is the worst deception” – it’s true! You’re not doing yourself any favors by lying to yourself.

 You know you like someone, whether they’re good for you or not, so you may do certain things to make yourself seem like you’re not doing the stupid things that you know you really are. For example, compensating by talking to another person. Let’s call this person (who’s not good for you) Sam. So, for whatever reason, you like Sam – you don’t even know why you’re so into it, but you are. You give yourself a pat on the back because you text Chris tonight and went over to chill with him instead of falling into your usual pattern and getting together with Sam. Who are you fooling?! You already know the next day, you’re right back thinking about Sam. Dumbass. Just be real, you like Sam. Doesn’t mean you should’ve spent the night before with Sam instead of Chris, though, it just means you need to admit how you’re really feeling and act from there. Don’t go out getting involved with all these other meaningless people, making things complicated, and making yourself feel worse. Really assess the situation with your “Sam” and if it’s really not good for you – work on moving on. With no distractions. Do it the healthy way; even if it takes time and you have to make mistakes along the way, at least you’re being honest and good to yourself.