“W.W.A.D.: What Would Amber Do?” – Your Friends & Your Man

This is a saying me & my best friend have started that basically represents how you should act, as a woman, if you feel like your female friends are crossing the line with your boyfriend. Amber is one of my friends that we all know doesn’t play that shit. Amber snaps on just about everything when it comes to her boyfriends. She doesn’t like other girls getting too comfortable with him, she wants an explanation for missed calls/texts, if a guy’s story of some event isn’t adding up, Amber isn’t having it – she will go back over something 100x until she feels he’s satisfied her question, if his phone is ringing/vibrating late at night – she would like to know who it is that is contacting him, and maybe even What for.

While Amber can be a little intense in our opinion, there are times where Amber’s attitude is just the attitude you need to adopt. 

For example, one night 2 of my friends were out with a girl they know and they stopped to visit a guy that one of my girls had been recently dating. (So, it’s 3 girls go hang out with a guy one of them is dating and his friends.) My friend is dating the guy, but the 3^rd girl, Jessica – I leave her out because she’s not necessarily a friend of mine, so I don’t wanna say “my friend” lol – knows the guy as an acquaintance as well. 

Jessica is a girl we all know does too much – meaning, she needs a lot of attention whenever guys are around. If you are dating someone, you don’t want Jessica all in your business because then she has to be all buddy-buddy with the guy. Even if she knows you are interested in someone first, she’ll be all in his face all night.

When they get to the spot where they’re hanging out, my girl calls the guy to come out to the car to walk them in. He doesn’t answer. Jessica calls, and he answers. They speak a foreign language that NO ONE else in the car speaks, including the girl this guy is supposed to be dating, and they decide to laugh & joke right quick in that language. I’m going to ignore the fact that the guy didn’t answer my friend’s call, but answered Jessica’s…. because apparently nobody else addressed this, and it didn’t bother them, so I’m just going to move on. If it were me, though, it would’ve at least been addressed.

Anyway, the guy comes out to get them & he stops to chat, once again in this foreign language, with Jessica. My friend made a brief comment like, “Y’all better quit talkin in that fuckin language can’t nobody understand…” But, apparently with not enough base in her voice because it continued throughout the night. Nothing too bad, because the guy actually did spend time with my friend while everybody was hanging out, but every once in a while, Jessica has to be all buddy-buddy with him.

I’m hearing this story over the phone with my bff, and the first thing I say to her is – Amber would’ve cut that shit at the beginning. Back when they were in the car, Amber would have let Jessica know something about all that extra stuff she was doing. She would have asked her what they were saying in the other language, and let her know it wasn’t cool or necessary for her to be overly interested in her date. And told her to focus her efforts on some of his friends if she needed attention. When they got out of the car, and the joking in the foreign language continued, Amber probably would have pulled a, “Wait, what did you just say?” and then, “Okay, and what did you say back?” It would have gotten annoying, but either way she would have made the point – STOP.

We used to laugh about how Amber would snap on things like this back in college, but the older we get, the more we notice that people can be trifling. A girl really can go behind your back and have something going on with your man – or at the very least, cause you discomfort or a twinge of jealousy whenever you get around the two of them at the same time. And while you’re trying to play it safe and not be annoying, the relationship progresses more and more until they’re having conversations without you, where your name doesn’t come up at all.

My bff and I analyzed the situation, like we love to do, and thought about how, even though Amber’s methods can be a little much, we would never try being buddies with her boyfriend. If I wanted to be over-friendly with someone’s boyfriend (don’t know when I would, but if randomly I ever did), it damn sure wouldn’t be Amber’s man because she’s not playing that. Which, again, gets Amber’s point across and fulfills her purpose in acting that way. She doesn’t want her girl-friends all super-friendly with her boyfriends & having their own separate relationship with him, and it rarely ever happens to her. I dare say, NEVER. I say nip it in the bud like she does and when something seems like it’s a little out of bounds, ask yourself – What Would Amber Do? (by the way, these comments apply to less extreme cases where things are just a little uncomfortable. not situations where the guy is all out trying to get with your friends. This is more about the dynamic between you & your friends, than the guy. we'll assume this is a good guy)

So, what do you guys think? Stop it early? Or let it slide?

[I have a WHOLE example of where this exact situation went way wrong with me; I’ll post that separately one day]

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